The “pandemic of abandonment”

Navigating friendships five years into COVID-19

People with Long COVID and people taking COVID-19 precautions have lost many friends as they are not able or willing to return to “pre-pandemic” behaviors.

This significant grief has received very little public attention, but the extraordinary response to a The Sick Times survey indicates a strong urge for people to talk about this experience.

Of 2,586 people who responded to the survey, 81% reported having lost friends.

Key points you should know:

• It is very common for people with Long COVID and those taking COVID-19 precautions to experience grief over lost intimacy with friends. In a Sick Times survey of 2,586 people, 81% reported having lost friends over differences in COVID-19 precautions.
• Disability studies scholars say there have always been people who were not able to risk going out in public, but COVID-19 is leading many more people to experience the ableism of our social world.
• Being hurt by friends who do not take COVID-19 seriously has made many people afraid of the emotional risks of making new friends, leading to even more loneliness.
• Making friends with other disabled people can be one powerful way of combating isolation. “Access intimacy” refers to the support that comes from having another person understand access needs on a deep, nonjudgmental level.
• Letting go of friends that do not share values (around COVID-19 or other things) and focusing on specific relationships where COVID-19 practices are aligned can lead to overall better relationships. One way to do this is to join a local clean air collective or mask bloc.